


UNIT Reassembled

by Haggis (Karen121968)



Series: Dr Who Stuff [1]
Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (Big Finish Audio)
Genre: F/F, UNIT Assembled Audio
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-11-30 14:08:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11465184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Karen121968/pseuds/Haggis
Summary: This follows on from the excellent Big Finish Audio drama, UNIT Assembled.I've loved this pairing since they first appeared but have taken some liberties to steer them in a slightly different direction than either the BBC or Big Finish have taken them.I couldn't figure out what Kate's scientific background actually was so I've taken another favourite author's headcannon and run with it - she's a biologist :) I however am not a biologist so please forgive any scientific snafu's as you read.





	1. Nobody Mention the Dinosaurs!

The Doctor sighed “I don’t run a tour bus, Kate”

“I’m not expecting sandwiches and a toilet break, but I need to be the one to tell Vastra what happened so you can either bring her and Jenny to us or take Osgood and me to them” she explained remarkably patiently considering how long this was taking. “I don’t understand what you have a problem with here, we’re not asking for help to invade another planet”

Osgood wandered into her lab and continued reading the report for several seconds before realising it was not as empty as it had been when she’d left several hours ago. “Hello you” she tucked the report under her arm and adjusted her glasses, smiling at the Doctor. “Did you need our help with something?” she glanced at Kate to see if she was more up to speed on the reason for his latest visit.

“See” Kate spread her arms, palms up as if this explained her central dilemma. “Osgood walks in and immediately offers to help with whatever you need and yet you won’t reciprocate just this once”

The Doctor looked around, turning the device on the table until it pointed towards the two women. He noticed Osgood taking a puff of her inhaler and Kate stepping slightly in front of her as if to protect the younger woman. Raising an eyebrow he surreptitiously scanned them both quickly and read the results on his screwdriver, turning away to smile to himself. “I’m a very busy man you know” he knew he’d give in soon but wanted to wring a little more teasing out of the delay to see what developed.

“You have mastery over all of time and space” Kate reminded him drily, sliding one hand into her jacket pocket and leaning against Osgood’s desk.

“We need his help?” Osgood checked with Kate, filing for later the protective stance that her boss had adopted a few seconds before. “What happened?” she glanced around to see if she’d missed flames or marauding invaders.

“I have to tell Vastra what happened myself” Kate explained, again. “And we could do with her help in sorting out whether the device can be repaired”

“We could?” Osgood looked disappointed and stared at her shoes. “I thought we were going to try to figure it out ourselves?”

“Osgood,” Kate said quietly, hating that she’d upset her friend. “Neither of us have time to work on only one artifact with the haul that they brought back from the destroyed caves”

“Of course, ma’am” Osgood stuck her hands in her lab coat pockets, trying to figure out why she was so disappointed in one project being reassigned. It wasn’t that she didn’t have plenty of other potentially world-saving projects to get her teeth stuck into, just that this was their first joint project for a while. Suddenly realising that it was this lost opportunity to work more closely with Kate that was causing her reaction she had almost reached critical mass in her self-awareness subroutine.

“Can you make sure you have your inhalers with you, I don’t know how badly the Victorian smog will affect you but we should only be there for a day or so” Kate turned back to the other occupant in the room. “Can we just get this over with please?” she implored. “I’m not exactly looking forward to Vastra’s reaction but I hope to avoid having to use the anti-venom again”

“She wouldn’t do that to you” the Doctor shook his head. 

“I know she respects you but these were her people” Kate replied.

“She wouldn’t do that to YOU” he pointed his screwdriver at her chest. “She has respect for you and she’ll understand why you had to detain them” he allowed a slow grin to spread across his face “Assuming you can explain your reasons quickly before telling her about the dinosaurs being destroyed”

Kate groaned and ran her hand through her hair, making it even messier “Please don’t remind me about the dinosaurs, it’s taken me two weeks not to have their destruction in every nightmare every night”

“Wait, I’m going to London with you?” Osgood had finally caught up with the conversation. 

“We’re already in London” the Doctor helpfully reminded her.

“Victorian London” Osgood squinted at him before turning back to her boss. “You want me” she pointed at herself “to come with you” now she pointed at Kate “to tell Vastra that the last of her kind have been locked up under our offices and that we saw the last velociraptors in existence just before they were slaughtered?”

“Well I was rather hoping you’d be helping Jenny in preventing Vastra from trying to finish what her sister started” Kate rubbed the back of her neck. “Or administering the anti-venom if that doesn’t work”

“Wouldn’t it be better to take Sam?” Osgood asked, even as she started packing up the scattered pieces of the devices they had excavated from the caves.

“You think Sam will be able to get those devices working with Vastra’s help?” Kate asked with a raised eyebrow. She wasn’t sure why she was explaining her reasons, all she had to do was order Osgood to accompany her.

“Well you will be there as well ma’am, one of our top science heads” Osgood looked up and grinned as she sassed Kate with the memory of her faux pas during the last crisis.

“Be ready to leave in an hour” Kate pointed to both of them and walked out to gather her own research and a couple of ampules of the anti-venom in case all reason failed.

The Doctor moved several pieces of alien technology around on the desktop before Osgood sighed and took everything out of his reach, carefully arranging it all in a couple of crates for transportation. He looked at her and smiled fondly. “How have you been?” he asked, looking around to make sure they were alone. “How have you both been?” he leaned in to whisper while tapping the side of his nose.

Osgood took her glasses off to polish and replace them before looking at him. “Osgood is working with the Zygon High Command, she prefers the weather in Truth or Consequences” she smiled gently.

“Ah yes, how did you manage to persuade the Americans to let you take over the town permanently?” he asked, jumping up to sit on the edge of her desk.

“Apparently the Zygons have friends in high places in the American government” she grinned at him and they maintained eye contact for several seconds before both started laughing uproariously.

Kate found them both still giggling, with Osgood drying her eyes with a handkerchief when she returned. “Having fun?” she asked, dumping a small holdall and her briefcase on top of the crates beside Osgood’s desk.

“Ma’am” Osgood blushed and grabbed her own small bag containing a change of clothes and a couple of extra inhalers. 

“Ready when you are, I know you got around our attempts to Tardis-proof the Tower so where’s she parked?” Kate asked and frowned as he held up his screwdriver and gave a short blast of sound. The TARDIS dematerialised around them and she looked around as their bags and the crates also appeared to have been scooped up. “Show off” she grinned and sat down in one of the chairs to watch him dance around the controls.

“Have you been in the TARDIS before?” Osgood asked nervously, fiddling with her scarf.

“Yes and no” Kate crossed her legs and sat back. “It looked a bit different a few of our years ago” she glanced to the side to watch Osgood’s face as the younger woman watched in fascination. “I just assumed you had been here during the negotiations”

“No ma’am” Osgood shook her head, tearing her eyes away from what she could see of the screen. “He did offer” she nodded towards the Doctor “But we both needed to be on Earth to make sure everything got sorted out”

“I don’t think I’d turn down a free trip, especially after all that you sacrificed” Kate stared at the tip of her shoes, unwilling to look at Osgood in case she gave away her feelings on that particular time in their history.

“That’s what we do, we save the world a lot” Osgood smiled as she quoted from one of her favourite tv shows.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen an actual vampire” Kate grinned broadly as Osgood whipped her head up in surprise. “What, I do have a tv set you know!”

“When do you find time to watch it?” Osgood asked before her mouth fell open in surprise at her own audacity. “Sorry, none of my business ma’am” she muttered.

“Please Osgood, call me Kate, it’s going to be trying enough when we get there and I’d like to make this as informal a trip as possible under the circumstances” she looked up as the Doctor pushed several levers and the console stopped making a noise. “Are we there yet?” she asked and winked at the blushing woman beside her.

***************************

Vastra looked up in surprise, hearing the TARDIS arrive from the other end of her house. “Jenny, we’ll need the good china I think” she shouted towards the kitchen as she finished making notes and switched off the bunsen burner in her lab.

“Yes miss” Jenny lifted down the large tin containing the cake she had only recently put away and proceeded to cut slices and lay a tray with cups and saucers. 

Vastra walked into the conservatory and sighed at the blue box which now took up a sizeable proportion of it. “Doctor” she waited for him to disembark and was surprised to see he had passengers other than Clara. “Kate” she moved forward quickly to shake the hand of her friend before waiting to be introduced to the other woman. 

“Madam Vastra” Kate bowed her head in deference. “Allow me to present my most senior scientific advisor and trusted colleague, Osgood” she watched in amusement as Osgood only just stopped herself from dropping into a curtsey. “Apologies for our rudeness in calling without warning but we have matters which must be discussed”

Vastra cocked her head to the side a little, reading between the lines and knowing that something grave must have happened to have Kate and her second in command both away from their own time together. “Of course, but after you have recovered from your journey my dear” Vastra indicated the table and chairs behind them. “Jenny will join us shortly, I’m sure his driving has not improved and a cup of tea will help settle you”

The Doctor harrumphed loudly but quickly moved to help Jenny bring in a large tray. “Oh fruit cake, my favourite” he sat down and lifted the large teapot. “Shall I be mother?” he looked around the bemused women and proceeded to pour drinks for their impromptu afternoon tea.

Osgood accepted a china cup and saucer from Jenny, smiling up at her and holding out her other hand. “Osgood” she introduced herself.

“Jenny, Miss” she smiled quickly but this faded as Osgood grinned widely. “Did I do something wrong Miss?” she asked, looking towards Vastra and Kate for guidance.

“No, I’m sorry” Osgood apologised. “I was smiling because you don’t need to introduce yourself to me, you’re a legend in UNIT”

Jenny blushed and turned towards Vastra as she heard a snort of amusement. “No cheek from you, I’m a legend don’t you know”

Kate joined in the laughter and sipped at her tea, declining a second helping of cake and smiling as his eyes lit up and he helped himself to her seconds as well. 

Vastra updated Kate on her most recent cases but realised that the head of UNIT had not visited her for a situation report on the lowlife of Victorian London. “Perhaps we should go to my office?” she waited to see whether Osgood and the Doctor would be invited to join them.

Kate nodded and glanced at Osgood as she stood. “Perhaps Osgood could show some of our artifacts to Jenny and the Doctor, they may recognise them?”

“Yes Ma’am,” Osgood said but then saw the raised eyebrow, “Sorry, Kate” she shoved her glasses back up her nose.

The Doctor looked bored and motioned at the Tardis “I have something much more interesting to do”

Jenny helped Osgood to carry her crates to the kitchen “Table in ‘ere is sturdy enough for most things” she explained and set to boiling water in case more tea was required.

“Thanks” Osgood smiled nervously, she wasn’t really sure how to treat Jenny in this situation. “I’ve read the files about some of your cases,” she said quietly as she emptied the first crate and carefully arranged the artifacts into the groups she had decided they belonged to. 

Jenny smiled at her and studied what was laid out on her table. “I think I’ve seen Vastra use one of those” she pointed at a larger piece, “But it had a blue thingy on that side” she folded her arms and watched as Osgood rummaged through the second crate.

“Ah hah” she smiled and cleared a space to put the new piece next to the one Jenny had pointed at. “Does that look like it?” she checked. Jenny nodded and watched as Osgood carefully turned the pieces in her hands until she saw how they would fit together. “What does it do?” 

Jenny smiled and appeared to be remembering when she’d seen it used. “Vastra took it off a tough in an alley, pointed it at him and he dropped to the gutter” she saw Osgood wince. “He wasn’t dead, he just slept like a baby for hours and woke up in the local lockup”

“So it makes someone unconscious?” she checked, not really willing to complete the weapon if it was too dangerous. Jenny nodded and she clicked the blue trigger onto the side and carefully pointed it at the floor. “Do you recognise anything else?” she asked.

Jenny scanned the contents of both crates before shaking her head. “Sorry, no, but Vastra will know what it all is” she watched Osgood briefly and had a sudden thought. “Are you staying for dinner?”

“I’m not sure, Kate said we may be here for a day or two” Osgood shrugged apologetically. “Sorry, we can probably sleep on the TARDIS, don’t want to bother you”

She hadn’t finished before Jenny drew herself up to her full height “You will not, we have plenty of room and a full pantry” she said indignantly.

“Well Vastra may not want us staying in her house” Osgood suggested, not really wanting to go into any details. 

“Are they going to be fighting?” Jenny nodded her head towards Vastra’s study.

Osgood nodded “We came across some Silurians in our own time, didn’t end so well for some of them” she stuck her hands in her jacket pockets. “We really did try not to kill any of them but they didn’t feel the same way and the General didn’t surrender easily”

“She misses her sisters,” Jenny said as she sat down, indicating that Osgood should sit as well. “She feels alien in so many ways in this time and I’d have liked to see her meet some of her own kind”

“I know how she feels,” Osgood said quietly and kept her gaze steady as Jenny stared at her. A small smile crept across the younger woman’s face and Osgood tilted her head slightly “What’s funny?” she asked with a smile of her own.

“Maybe you, me and Vastra are more like each other than I thought” Jenny raised an eyebrow, looking delighted to have some gossip in her normally quiet life.

Osgood blushed a little before smirking. “Not really what I meant but perhaps” she admitted.

Jenny stood up and headed for the pantry. “Then you’re definitely staying, it’s my house as much as Vastra’s and Kate is an old friend” she stuck her head back out the pantry door. “And you’re a new one so that settles it” she ducked back into the small room.

Osgood smiled, she liked the young woman and struggled to reconcile the sword-wielding other half of Vastra the warrior with the domestic servant who was to be her hostess. “Can I help with anything?” she asked as Jenny carried an armload of ingredients to the table. 

“Clear some of this out of me way for a while, Vastra can take a look at the rest after I’ve got dinner in the oven”

“Yes ma’am” Osgood quickly refilled the crates and washed her hands in the sink before offering herself as sous chef.

Vastra was very quiet and had been for a very long time. Kate was a master diplomat who was trained to wait out these silences but this one was trying even her patience. She had laid out the salient points of the recent uprising from the Silurians, along with a few of their more colourful underlings and had expected that Vastra would be angry at having missed the opportunity to meet some of her kind. She uncrossed her legs and stretched them both out in front of her, trying to give her hostess the time she needed to process what she had been told. Several minutes later Vastra seemed to shake herself without actually moving a muscle, but she seemed less tense afterward and when their eyes met she shook her head slowly. “Kate, I am sorry,” she said quietly.

“You’re sorry?” Kate was surprised enough to show it. 

“My people should not have been so easily led astray” she stood and seemed to glide towards the bookshelves. “I believe that you had no choice but to act as you did”

“I didn’t” Kate agreed. “But I am still sorry that so many of both of our species had to die and that we had to incarcerate the General before you had a chance to talk to him”

“We would not have had much to discuss” Vastra suggested drily. “Thank you for coming to tell me yourself and I must thank the Doctor for bringing you”

“There are some artifacts that we were able to recover from the caves after the base was destroyed,” Kate said as she followed Vastra to the back of the house. “We were hoping that you may be able to shed some light on their use and in repairing one in particular” 

Both women stopped in surprise as they reached the kitchen doorway to see Jenny carefully securing a large apron around Osgood who was blushing profusely. “Problem?” Kate asked and tried not to laugh.

“Apparently I am safer in a lab with lethal chemicals than I am with mixing a bowl of flour and eggs” Osgood looked most annoyed at her public display of ineptitude.

“Perhaps you’d better let me help with dinner and you can show your toys to Vastra?” Kate suggested lightly and finally laughed at the speed with which Osgood untied the apron and handed it to her boss. “So, what are we making?” Kate slipped the apron over her head and listened carefully to Jenny’s explanation and the instructions of what she needed Kate to do.

Osgood carried one of the crates and followed Vastra to a large parlour with a heavy wooden desk. “Thanks,” she said as Vastra put the other crate down beside the desk and motioned for Osgood to open them. They spent a good hour going through the contents of the crates, eventually ending up with three distinct piles. “So that one is the pile of unconnected bits and bobs” she waited for Vastra to nod. “And that’s the medical devices and those are the weapons” again Vastra inclined her head slightly to agree with Osgood’s summation. She pulled the last item from the crate and carefully handed it to Vastra, making sure it was pointing away from them. “This one we know what it does, well I do anyway” she gulped and remembered the fear.

“They used this on you?” Vastra asked indignantly. “It is good that Kate did not arrange a meeting with the General, I would have personally disemboweled him with pleasure”

Osgood looked a little green and took a step back. “It wasn’t all that bad, once I’d figured out what it was doing to me”

“Primal fear?” Vastra guessed after checking some of the settings on the weapon. 

“Yeah, cavewoman Osgood for a while there” Osgood shrugged, “Do those little buttons on the side have different settings then?” 

“Mmmm” Vastra nodded and pressed a few of them to show Osgood the changes in the lights on the other side. “This is used to enhance many different emotions, fear being one”

“So it’s not really a weapon then?” Osgood struggled to see how this could be used as Vastra was describing it. 

“No, not a weapon as such, more a means of control over a large number of subjects” Vastra peered carefully at the blunter end of the object. “It does need a little work to ensure it operates properly if that is what you wish?”

“Yes please” Osgood realised that she didn’t mean to sound that eager. “Not that we’re planning on using it to subjugate large populations anytime soon” she insisted.

“I am delighted to hear it,” Vastra said drily. “Let us go to my laboratory and we can work on the repairs until dinner is ready”

Osgood worked diligently and followed all of Vastra’s instructions, glad to hear that the lizard woman from the dawn of time seemed less likely to call her a stupid ape at the end of the repairs. “You work well,” Vastra said when the device was back in one piece. The silent ‘for an ape’ was politely ignored by both of them.

“Thank you, you are a good teacher, Jenny is very lucky to have you,” Osgood said.

“As Kate is to have you” Vastra suggested with a smile.

“Oh we’re..” Osgood realised that she was reading more into Vastra’s comments than was strictly necessary and blushed. “I’m lucky to work for Kate” she finally said as a compromise.

Vastra didn’t understand what the pause and obvious discomfort meant but resolved to check with her wife later, she was so much better at the ape stuff. “Shall we rejoin the others?” she asked and led the way towards the kitchen.

“She did not!” Kate laughed and sipped from her cup.

“She did!” Jenny laughed and looked over her shoulder to see the others standing in the doorway. “The Doctor said he’d be back tomorrow, had an errand to run” she relayed his message.

“He will remember to come back for us, won’t he?” Osgood looked a little concerned.

“He will,” Kate said with confidence and briefly checked her trouser pocket for the mobile phone she always carried to contact him with.

“You did remember to charge the phone?” Osgood double checked and saw the flash of irritation cross Kate’s face before she started to laugh. 

“Honestly, you forget to charge one mobile phone, once, and you’re never allowed to forget about it” she complained and took her cup to the sink to rinse it.

“Well it was Her Majesty who was trying to contact you for two days” Osgood helpfully reminded her before holding out the repaired control device as a distraction. “Vastra showed me how to repair it and explained what it’s used for” she smiled.

“Oh well done” Kate dried her hands and walked towards them, not seeing the small puddle of water on the floor. She was the perfect distance away from Osgood that meant when she slid and reached out she was able to catch Osgood’s outstretched hand. Unfortunately, this was the same hand that held the device. Jenny had walked behind her to get a look at the completed device and her hands grabbed Kate’s other arm, spinning her round slightly.

Osgood watched in horror as the split second seemed to stretch out in super slow motion. She grasped Kate’s fingers in her own, accidentally triggering several of the buttons on the side of the device which woke from its dormant state. As Kate pivoted slightly and Jenny ended up closer to her, the device jumped in Osgood’s hand and fired out a wave of energy directly at both of them. Osgood grabbed the device and shut it off a second later as the previous suspension in time suddenly ended and there was silence as they all looked at the small device. Osgood looked around and saw Vastra several steps further back than she had been, at least she’d had the sense to get out of the way. “Please tell me I didn’t just turn my boss and your wife into cavewomen?!” she handed the device over and turned back to assess Kate and Jenny’s reactions. “Are you both OK?” she realised Kate was still holding her hand but couldn’t make eye contact as her boss was currently staring intently into Jenny’s eyes.

“Oh dear” Vastra sighed behind her and double checked the settings. “Jenny!” she said sharply.

“Kate?” Osgood whispered as she watched her boss and Jenny kissing each other with rather more fervour than was strictly necessary on a Tuesday afternoon she felt. Clearly, Vastra felt the same way as she moved with speed to separate them. “Oh goodness, what setting was that?” she kept hold of Kate’s hand tugging her slightly to increase the gap before Vastra used less gentle methods. “How on earth do you subjugate people by making them snog each other?” she turned sharply to Vastra again.

“Well there were some less savoury uses” Vastra admitted shyly. She was about to explain more when Jenny suddenly wrapped herself around her wife and tried to kiss the living daylights out of her. Vastra finally managed to hoist her over her shoulder, before turning to see Kate had backed Osgood up against the kitchen table. “I am sorry but it is only a temporary effect so it may be better to adjourn to your room until it wears off”

“Wait, don’t leave me…” she almost got the sentence out before Kate slid her hands into her hair and pulled her into a long, deep kiss. Osgood wasn’t sure how long it was before she managed to get her hands between them and push Kate backward. “Vastra?” she looked around but even if her glasses hadn’t been askew on her face she knew that the others had retired to their bedroom. “Oh come on!” she blew her fringe out of her eyes in frustration and darted around the other side of the kitchen table, keeping it between her and Kate. 

Kate stopped moving, realising that they would just keep going around the table for the rest of the day. Instead, she suddenly vaulted over it and landed beside Osgood, who squeaked and looked impressed all at the same time. “Inhaler,” she said quietly and it was this that made Osgood realise that her friend was still inside the woman who was currently trying to grope her. Taking a puff of her inhaler she tried to calm her breathing as Kate placed gentle kisses on her neck. “OK?” she whispered in Osgood’s ear when she reached it before nibbling on the earlobe.

“Not the word I’d use” Osgood gasped and tried desperately to stop herself from reciprocating. This was one of her fantasies, although she had never before realised who it was who was releasing her hair gently from the ponytail before running her fingers through it. “Oh boy” she muttered and accepted that she’d need to put her hands on Kate, even if just to move her away before she did something she was sure Kate would regret in the morning. “Right, you just wait there,” she said in as authoritative a voice as she could manage when her stomach was doing that melty thing and her heart racing. 

Kate looked down at Osgood’s hands on her hips, holding her at arm’s length away from the young scientist and smiled. Looking back up, through her fringe, she wiggled her hips slightly. “You can touch me anywhere” she placed her own hands on top of Osgood’s.

Vastra walked back into the kitchen and paused, watching the interplay between the two women. “Osgood, are you alright?” she asked as the younger woman seemed to be transfixed with what she saw in Kate’s eyes.

“What, yes, obviously no” she managed to tear her eyes away as her hostess spoke to her. “Can you help me get her to her room?” she begged, she knew she was begging and was glad to see it was Vastra instead of Kate she had directed this at. “How’s Jenny?” Osgood finally remembered her manners.

“She is resting in our room” Vastra looked at the floor as she said this and Osgood could swear she turned a different shade of green.

“What does the energy pulse do?” Osgood needed facts to try to balance out the insane emotional rollercoaster she was on.

“It awakens a person’s innermost desires” Vastra canted her head to the left slightly as Osgood swatted Kate’s hands away from her breasts. “It appears that my old friend’s daughter desires you”

“No Kate!” Osgood tried to be stern but it really was very difficult when her bum was being squeezed. “She can’t possibly, she’s Kate” this was directed at Vastra. “I mean Dr. Stewart, my boss, the woman who trash talked an invading army of Cybermen and survived falling out of a plane at 20,000 feet” Osgood took two steps closer to Vastra “Look just help me get her locked in her room and then you can tell me how to fix this”

“There is one way,” Vastra said and Osgood could hear the smile in her voice even if she was too busy dodging Kate’s lips to see her face.

“OK, good, fixing this would be good, so tell me what we need to do?” Osgood realised too late that she had been backed into a corner of the kitchen, the pantry door behind her with Kate advancing slowly. “Vastra?” she said unsteadily, picking up a large wooden spoon to defend herself with before looking at it and throwing it down again.

“Follow me, she will follow you,” Vastra said quietly and disappeared out the door. Osgood groaned and ducked under Kate’s arm to race after the Silurian. Osgood speed walked, taking the stairs two at a time as she heard Kate just behind her. Vastra stopped at the second door on their left and held it open “Jenny keeps this room ready for when the Doctor visits, I’m sure you’ll both have everything you need” she stepped around Osgood and watched Kate follow the younger woman into the room before turning away to shut the door.

“Wait, no” Osgood pushed Kate down onto the bed and groaned at the wide smile growing on her boss’s face. “You said there was a way to fix this” she pushed Vastra out the door and closed it, keeping hold of the doorknob to stop Kate from following them into the hallway. “How did you get Jenny to calm down so quickly?” Osgood ran her free hand through her hair, she wasn’t used to having it down at work.

“Ah well” Vastra suddenly sounded a little more Scottish than usual. “It rather depends on the couple involved” she canted her head to the side, hoping that Osgood would fit the pieces together.

Osgood could hear Kate moving around in the room behind them and she was hoping that she’d give up and fall asleep sometime soon. “You mean she doesn’t just become unconscious and sleep it off?” she asked nervously before reconsidering what Vastra had said. “What do you mean couple?” she stood a little taller and tried to glare at the Silurian warrior.

Vastra watched the show of bravado and silently thought that Jenny would love this detail when she told her the story later that night. In the meantime, she knew that Osgood was starting to look even more worried and that Kate would be getting more and more uncomfortable in the room. “Osgood, my dear Osgood” Vastra rested her hand on Osgood’s forearm and patted her a couple of times in what she had learned was a reassuring gesture. “The person who is affected by the energy pulse has their inhibitions lowered and the pleasure centres in their ape brains stimulated to allow them to concentrate fully on their innermost desires, which in Kate’s case is quite clearly being with you”

Osgood had heard the bedsprings creak several minutes ago and nothing since so she loosened her grip on the doorknob and flexed her fingers before taking a swift puff from her inhaler. “But she doesn’t want me” she explained slowly, thinking this may be a species thing. “Maybe that’s how it works in Silurians but clearly it scrambles something in humans and the brain chemistry causes hallucinations” Osgood nodded as she convinced herself of the rationale.

Vastra waited until she stopped talking, clearly deep in thought. “It worked exactly as I described it for Jenny and she is an ape,” she said quietly.

“Ah that’s it” Osgood pointed a finger at Vastra and began to pace along the corridor and back. “In ape, that is, human brains it must trigger oxytocin and endorphins to make Kate feel happy and in a relaxed state”

“She did look happy but not relaxed” Vastra helpfully reminded her.

“She’s basically just…..well she’s aroused” Osgood took a couple of deep breaths. “And she’s reacting to the first warm body”

“Well she did kiss Jenny first, for which I will be talking to them both when they are quite recovered” Vastra didn’t sound threatening so Osgood let it go to worry about the higher priority.

“Right, so can we lock this door or something and leave her to sleep it off?” Osgood looked hopefully at her hostess. 

“She is not sleeping” Vastra slipped her tongue out a fraction and smiled as much as she could. “She will not sleep until you give her what she wants”

Osgood stood stock still, her glasses sliding down her nose, hair tangled and untidy where Kate had run her fingers through it. Vastra was worried that the young woman had suffered some type of temporary paralysis but just before she moved towards her Osgood blinked once and raised her hand slowly to take her glasses off and rub her face before replacing the glasses. “Kate doesn’t want me, I’m just the only one here. Actually, she’d probably rather be getting snogs from the Doctor or Col Shindi or Lt Bishop or…….” Osgood ran out of men to name and cracked her knuckles “Unless you have a man around who could….?” she wasn’t sure what the man could do but she was bound and determined that Kate would not wake up in the morning believing that Osgood had taken advantage of her to get some action.

“You believe that Kate’s innermost desires are directed to a genderfluid time lord, soldiers or a random acquaintance from Victorian London?” Vastra asked drily. “You think that she has finally let down her walls and that she’d want someone she has to command in battle?”

“Well when you put it like that it doesn’t seem very likely but she leads UNIT, I could never take advantage of our friendship and working relationship to take something she wouldn’t offer if she was in her right mind” Osgood tried to make Vastra understand. “Up until an hour ago I believed she was my very straight boss who scares aliens and humans alike, me included, on a daily basis with her intelligence, wits, and dedication to her job and country”

Vastra watched the other woman wringing her hands and remembered Jenny suggesting several motives for this body language, she carefully deciphered Osgood’s words and picked a strategy to open her final gambit. “You are in love with her” she stated and saw the young woman nod slightly. “But you do not believe that she is in love with you” Vastra was on a roll and was only sad that Jenny was missing her performance in understanding ape facial expressions and body language. “I can tell you that she is”

Osgood whipped her head up and stared open-mouthed at this. “But how?” she stammered.

“I watched you interact this afternoon and I heard how she spoke of your mission together during the recent uprising” Vastra explained. “She told me that her biggest regret when she thought she was going to die was that she couldn’t save you and that she had never told you how she felt.” she was embellishing the story outrageously, Kate had barely mentioned the incidents in the cave but Vastra had seen her pain and heard the catch in her voice which she’d tried to hide with a cough.

“No she didn’t” Osgood stood up straight, no longer confused except for why Kate’s friend was lying to her. “Kate would never give up fighting to save the planet long enough to have regrets”

“She did not admit it but I could tell…..” Vastra started and was genuinely astounded to be interrupted, that very rarely happened and almost never in her own home.

“Silurians are not psychic” Osgood was getting angry now. “I don’t know what game you’re playing but this is not a situation to be manipulated, Kate is not someone to be manipulated”

Vastra realised that she was far from being able to read ape facial expressions successfully but she was a warrior and could tell when someone was angry enough to strike her. “I apologise Osgood” she bowed and took a step back from her. “I did not mean to antagonise you or manipulate either of you, I count Kate as a friend and I had hoped you would be too”

Osgood felt her shoulders relax, she hadn’t realised how much she’d tensed in the last few minutes. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have accused you, I’m just worried about her” she looked at her hands and was surprised to see them shaking. “I don’t want her to suffer so if you know of any way to help her…” she held up a shaking hand to forestall Vastra’s words “...apart from throwing me in there”

“When I took Jenny to our bedroom I allowed her to kiss me again, and kissed her in return,” Vastra said slowly, explaining as best she could and deciding to keep to the facts without speculating on her friend’s love life. “She undressed and started on my clothes but a few touches from me were enough to…….render her unconscious” She knew she was blushing but also suspected that Osgood wouldn’t be able to tell.

“Oh good grief” Osgood ran both hands through her hair, scratching at her scalp to try to erase the visuals she was creating. “This is ridiculous, how can I possibly…...wait, will either her or Jenny remember anything after they were whammied?” she had a single point of light shining in the depths of her mind.

Vastra cocked her head and tried to remember the once or twice she had heard of the device being used in her distant past. “I cannot recall, I am sorry Osgood”

“Oh marvelous, you only remember the part where I have to do…….that…..with her…...and not the important parts!” Osgood almost stamped her foot before realising that she was berating a lizard warrior from the dawn of time. “I’m sorry, this is just all a bit much”

“Those who chose to use such a device were talking of their ‘conquests’ and were long on bragging and short on detailed scientific analysis of its consequences” she made it clear what she thought of such behaviour. “However I do know that it works by causing the body to release chemicals to replicate arousal”

Osgood cleaned her glasses on the edge of her sweater, not caring that the lenses may be scratched by the wool, slipping them back on and pushing her hair out of her way again. When this was all over she was going to get a haircut. “Right, so her pituitary gland is pumping out oxytocin equivalent to being hot and heavy for quite a while if we take her handsy behaviour as empirical data” This was better, she was back in safe territory again with facts and science. 

“Indeed” Vastra agreed, she understood the basics of human physiology. “I understand that you do not wish to believe me but this flood of chemicals cannot change the fundamental nature of attraction for the individual concerned”

Osgood sighed “OK, so let’s assume that my straight boss is not so straight after all” she frowned at the jump in her pulse rate at the thought of one of the obstacles she had built in her head being removed. “That just means she’s hot for a woman right now, I mean she did kiss Jenny once the energy pulse had hit them both”

“Please stop reminding me,” Vastra said tersely. “I rather think that Jenny kissed her anyway” Vastra was annoyed enough about that to almost miss the stiffening of Osgood’s back at this little gem, almost.

“Right well that’s good news” Osgood muttered to herself and only realised what she’d said when she heard the hiss in front of her. “Well, obviously not good news” she swallowed the fear, remembering reading the report of Kate being struck by the Silurian attacker’s tongue and not wishing to experience the same fate. She was about to continue apologising when they both turned towards the door of the bedroom. “Did you hear that?” she asked Vastra.

“Yes” Vastra barely restrained herself from explaining her enhanced senses to this dumb ape. “Kate is removing her clothing, the increased levels of hormones are raising her body temperature to dangerous levels and she is trying to cool down”

Osgood stared at the door, part of her glad that it was still between her and her naked boss but a much larger part cursing the fact that she hadn’t yet perfected x-ray glasses. “Dangerous?” she managed through a suddenly dry mouth.

“I understand that you do not wish to touch her but you were holding the device so you must tell her what to do herself, she will not touch herself unless you give her permission” Vastra remembered another detail. 

Osgood knew that her brain couldn’t actually melt and run out of her ears but she also couldn’t form a single word in reply to Vastra’s pronouncement, never mind a sentence. She slowly reached into her trouser pocket and took a puff of her inhaler, a tiny seed of a plan starting to germinate. Working through the possibilities she nodded and after hearing Kate moan again she took one more puff of her inhaler before putting it back in her pocket and taking her glasses off. “When the Doctor returns he needs to hit both of us with the mind-wiper and this is NEVER mentioned in any reports either of us submit” she waited for Vastra to nod her acquiescence to the plan so far. “We dismantle the device and destroy it”

“You do not wish to study it further?” Vastra was surprised at this part of the plan and she doubted that Kate would agree but it was clear that Osgood needed this reassurance to continue with the rest of her plan.

“Nobody studies it” Osgood was adamant, she’d argue the point with Kate once this sorry mess was cleared up. “I’m going in there” she pointed at the door and bit her lip as Kate moaned again, she sounded as if she was in distress. “And I’ll make sure she sleeps until the effects wear off, nobody else is to enter this room”

Vastra nodded and looked towards her own bedroom door, she could hear her wife stirring and knew she’d need to return to her soon. “You may lock the door from the inside” she assured the young woman. “I am sorry Osgood if I could undertake this mission on your behalf…” she left the sentence unfinished.

“You were her father’s friend, are her friend, if she has to hate one of us it is better it is me” Osgood sniffed. “If the mind wipe doesn’t take effect we won’t even be able to work together so it’s better for UNIT to have both of you working together”

“I do not believe that to be the case, and I doubt that Kate could ever hate you” Vastra turned and headed towards her own room. “You will not be disturbed until you choose to leave the room”

Osgood waited until she saw Vastra enter her own room before taking a deep breath and cracking the knuckles on both hands. Reaching out she turned the doorknob and slowly entered the bedroom.


	2. And Now There's A Dinosaur In The Room!

Kate knew they had stopped talking and guessed that Osgood was about to enter the room. Gritting her teeth she tried to force her breathing into something closer to a normal afternoon at the office rather than whammied sex slave but she was pretty sure she failed dismally. Gripping the edge of the mattress with both hands she squinted through her fringe to watch the door opening. When she saw Osgood’s hand run along the wall and precede her into the room she was confused until Osgood came into the room and finally had to open her eyes to figure out how to lock the door. “I’m sorry” she ground out and was surprised at how gravelly her voice sounded.

Osgood looked up and completely forgot about closing her eyes, quickly removing her glasses instead. “Why are you sorry?” 

“I attacked you” Kate loosened her grip to briefly wipe the sweat from her forehead before grabbing hold of the bed again. 

“The energy pulse, it hit you and Jenny” Osgood stared at her shoes, not trusting her awful eyesight to keep her from seeing Kate. She had glimpsed enough to know she wasn’t naked but an open shirt and no trousers ticked another box on her fantasy checklist and she didn’t need to look up to see it again, it would be burned into her mind for evermore.

“Not fear?” Kate shook her head, trying to concentrate on what Osgood would tell her.

Osgood laughed and the sound caused Kate to look up sharply, catching her colleague rubbing her hands over her face. When Osgood removed her hands she put her glasses back on and decided to level with her boss. “Different setting causes oxytocin to spike and keep spiking”

“Endorphins?” Kate asked and smiled as Osgood looked surprised. “Biologist, remember” she almost stood up and just managed to stop herself. “Sodding endorphins” she muttered and tried to settle her breathing again. “Solution?”

“Ah” Osgood stared at Kate, her mouth going dry at the view provided by the heavy breathing and open shirt. “Slight problem there”

“No solution?” Kate looked worried, she wasn’t sure how much longer she could keep her hands off of Osgood.

“Yes we have a solution, well Vastra suggested it, and it seemed to work for Jenny” Osgood took a step forward and stopped herself as she reached out. “Not that I was there to see it working” she hastily explained and cursed her inability to make sense.

“Just…...tell……..me” she growled.

“Orgasm” Osgood blurted out. “Sorry, that was a bit unscientific but essentially you need to have an orgasm to stop the cycle and let you sleep it off”

“Can’t” Kate shook her head and stood up, unable to stay still any longer. 

Osgood took a step back and saw Kate flinch. “You can if I’m here,” she said quietly, not even letting her brain wander to a point where Kate had already tried and knew it would fail. “I know this is the last thing you’d want and, come to think of it is probably just about the worst Tuesday from an HR point of view since the whole Sontaran teapot thing….” Osgood trailed off, unsure where she’d started the sentence.

“Why?” Kate was pacing on the other side of the bed, aware of how scared Osgood was of her in her present condition. “Why you?”

Osgood swallowed and tried not to be offended. “I was holding the device, so I need to give you permission”

“No!” Kate slammed the palm of her right hand against the wall, she needed to work to get the full sentence out before she made this worse. “Why are you last thing?” was all she could manage before resting her forehead on the wall beside her hand.

Osgood blinked several times, running through the last couple of minutes to pick up what Kate was asking. “Oh right, why would I be the last thing you’d want?” she checked and saw the blonde head nod briefly. “Well obviously ma’am, you’re you and I’m me and even if you are not really completely straight that doesn’t mean I’m on the list but the Doctor will use the mind wipe so whatever happens you will forget it before we go home”

“No list” Kate turned, leaning her back against the wall having realised it was cool. She had forgotten her state of undress, just glad to have a brief respite from her climbing temperature. “Only you, but not for you” she rested the palm of her hand on her stomach, using it to judge the rise and fall of her breathing. She hadn’t had a response from Osgood so eventually opened her own eyes and saw the complete confusion staring back at her mixed with a blush. Remembering that she was practically naked she tried to make sense before she was forced to take the last of her clothes off. “You don’t want me” she managed, banging her head back against the wall despite knowing this wouldn’t help.

“Are you kidding me?” Osgood blinked and then completely lost the remains of any good sense she may have had left, in for a penny she thought. “Have you seen yourself, I mean 100% straight nuns would be drooling right now and I’m not either of those things so obviously I want you but not just because you’ve been turned into a lust monster and you’re nearly naked” she took a puff of her inhaler, surprised she managed to get all of that out without it.

Kate laughed and it felt so good, releasing some of the tension “Lust monster?” she gripped her arms around her stomach and continued to laugh until she was crying.

Osgood was blushing scarlet and grinning at the woman of her dreams laughing without restraint. “God you’re beautiful and I know we won’t remember this so can I just say that I’ve wanted to kiss you so badly that I’ve caused at least two minor explosions in the lab this month alone”

Kate wiped her eyes on her sleeve, pushing away from the wall and walking slowly towards Osgood. “So kiss me” she whispered.

Licking her lips she watched her boss take two more steps, idly noticing the matching white bra and underpants from Marks and Spencer under the pale blue shirt. Reaching out her hands she rested them on her hips, sliding her thumbs across the front of Kate’s abdomen. Just as they were about to kiss she suddenly realised what Kate had said earlier. Placing her hand on Kate’s chest she pushed her back a step. “Wait a minute,” she said when Kate growled at her again. “What do you mean, only me?”

“Wanted you before whammy” Kate unbuttoned the cuffs on Osgood’s shirt. “Think about you without sodding endorphins”

Osgood leaned in quickly and kissed Kate before she could say any more. If they were going to be open about their attraction she needed to get them through this fiasco as quickly as possible. Taking Kate’s hands in her own she pushed her back towards the bed while still kissing her. “Lie down” she mumbled between sloppy kisses and followed Kate down onto the mattress. “Kate” she kissed against closed eyelids, waiting for the eyes to open and focus on her. “I’m sorry this is the way it has to be but I need you to touch yourself for me” she whispered and saw the pupils dilate further even as Kate shook her head and tried to touch her. “No, please, just do this for me, for us” Osgood kissed her again and felt the blonde’s hands slide down her own body. She resolutely stared into the brown eyes, barely able to make out the colour as the pupils blew when Kate touched herself. Osgood leaned down and kissed her gently, letting Kate breathe and gasp her way to a hard and fast orgasm, kissing her eyelids when they fluttered closed. She felt the tension leave the body of her friend and placed a last kiss on her forehead before sitting up and pulling the nearest blanket over the sleeping form.

Kate woke with a pounding headache and raging thirst. Groaning she pushed herself up and looked around. “What the hell?” she asked quietly, noticing she was almost naked and aching in places she wouldn’t normally associate with a business trip. Blinking and pushing her fringe out of her eyes she saw Osgood asleep in a chair strategically placed against the bedroom door. Slowly getting up she looked around and found her trousers, pulling them on before fastening some buttons on her shirt and walking towards her colleague. “Osgood” she gently shook her shoulder.

“Ah!!” Osgood jumped out of the chair, fumbling to get free of the quilt she had pulled around herself. “Kate!” she finally managed as she repositioned her glasses and took a puff of her inhaler.

Kate had her hand on her chest, she hadn’t expected that reaction and had taken several steps back. “Are you OK?” she checked “What on earth happened?”

Osgood finished a couple of non-wheezy breaths before “Sorry ma’am, how are you feeling?”

“Headache, thirsty, how did I end up in bed?” Kate rubbed her temples. 

“We were in the kitchen, you were with Jenny” Osgood folded the quilt she had been using and placed it back on the foot of the bed. “You slipped and I accidentally triggered the energy device when I tried to catch you” she looked at her feet.

“So was I cavewoman Kate for a while then? I don’t remember your report mentioning a headache when you recovered” Kate flexed her neck and shoulders, “And why does it feel like I’ve run a marathon?”

“Ah that would be the flood of hormones, it wasn’t the fear setting you were hit with” Osgood hoped she didn’t have to explain in too much detail.

“Osgood” Kate sighed and went to sit on the edge of the bed, mirroring her pose from before but thankfully with more clothes. “I don’t need a full debrief, just tell me what happened, I didn’t hurt anyone did I?”

“No ma’am” Osgood tried to dissemble. “Your pituitary was overproducing oxytocin and endorphins and your temperature was raised for an extended period”

“I don’t normally feel this bad from extended periods of happiness” Kate tried to figure out what Osgood wasn’t telling her. “Hold on” she looked down at her shirt, the buttons misaligned where she tried to close them earlier. “Was there an adrenaline spike with elevated heart rate?” Osgood nodded and could tell she had started to figure it out for herself. “The device was used to subdue people by arousing them?” she heard Osgood cough and couldn’t make eye contact. “Oh dear lord, I didn’t kiss anyone, did I?”

This time Osgood remained resolutely silent, she had hoped that Kate would sleep for a few more hours and that the Doctor could perform the mind wipe on them both before they had to even discuss what happened.

Kate finally looked up to see Osgood carefully studying the hem of her sweater, almost as if she was counting the stitches that had gone into each row. “Well since I have all of my limbs still attached I guess I didn’t kiss Vastra or Jenny,” Kate said dryly. “Which really only leaves you……...Osgood……...what do I need to apologise for?”

“You don’t need to apologise for anything ma’am, nothing happened” Osgood doubted she’d get away with this obvious lie but she felt she had to make the effort.

Kate ran her hands through her hair and fixed the buttons on her shirt, tucking it back into her trousers neatly and looking around for her shoes. “Let’s go and find some food and a cuppa and we can talk about it” She waited for Osgood to move but the young woman seemed rooted to the spot and Kate just knew she’d said or done something inappropriate and probably ruined any chance she actually had with her. Reaching the chair she moved it and tried to open the door. “Osgood, why did Vastra lock you in here with me if I was under the influence of alien technology?”

Osgood looked up sharply as she heard Kate’s tone get angry. “No!” she moved to the door and took the key from her pocket, unlocking it and letting Kate precede her downstairs. “I locked us in the room to monitor your condition after you passed out” Osgood didn’t want Kate being angry with Vastra.

They sat at the kitchen table, glasses of water in front of them but untouched. Kate sighed and reached for her glass, downing half of it in one go before licking her lips. “OK, so tell me what happened”

“You and Jenny were hit with the energy pulse” Osgood began and sipped from her glass. “Vastra figured out what the setting was fairly quickly and she took Jenny to their room and we got you upstairs.”

Kate waited for her to continue and reached across to rest the drumming fingers when it was apparent she wasn’t going to. “Osgood, please it can’t be that bad, can it?”

“Jenny kissed you and you were quite…...em…….frisky before we got you upstairs” Osgood looked up and saw that Kate looked pained. “It wasn’t your fault, you weren’t in control once the effects kicked in”

“I’m supposed to be in control, that’s my job” Kate sat back and folded her arms. “I’ll understand if you want to make a complaint when we’re back in our own time”

“What?” Osgood looked genuinely confused. “No, nobody needs to know what happened”

“Well I can understand why you’d want that but if I as good as attacked you then it shouldn’t go unpunished” Kate pursed her lips. 

“You don’t remember any of it?” Osgood realised that they were about to go round the same spiral they had been in the previous evening. “Vastra wasn’t sure if someone hit with the pulse would remember anything and I assumed you would based on what I remember from the fear whammy”

Kate pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes in concentration. “Damn” she muttered. “I have hazy memories of cornering you in here” she gestured to the corner of the kitchen. “And then I think I got undressed myself, which is something I suppose”

“You were getting dangerously hot,” Osgood said and then replayed how that sounded and couldn’t stop herself from grinning.

Kate looked at her in astonishment “That is not helping” she said sternly. “Why are you grinning and not wheezing about your half-naked boss attacking you in a bedroom in Victorian London?” 

“Honestly, I’m not sure” Osgood shrugged and Kate was surprised to see a naughty glint in her eyes. “Although to be fair you got yourself half naked but I kissed you, so technically you didn’t attack me”

“You what?” the blonde’s arms dropped to the table as she stared at the brunette in shock.

“The Doctor is going to use the mind wipe on us so I can tell you everything I’ve ever wanted to say and then we can go back to being co-workers with unfulfilled fantasies” she took a deep breath and noticed that she didn’t need her inhaler. “Basically we ended up admitting to each other that we’d wanted to kiss for quite a while and you were fairly obviously no longer 100% heterosexual so it didn’t seem like a bad idea to test the hypothesis that we would kiss about as well as we work together”

“Never have been,” Kate said quietly and finished the rest of her glass of water before refilling it and sitting back at the table.

“Sorry?” Osgood sat back and watched the long legs being crossed, she could still picture them without the trousers.

“100% heterosexual, never have been” Kate explained and kept her eyes on Osgood until she saw her look up from her legs. “I’m assuming you aren’t either?” Osgood shook her head and smiled with what Kate had privately labeled her ‘cute smile #3’. “Wish I’d known that a couple of years ago”

“You didn’t get any hints?” Osgood took her inhaler out of her pocket and placed it on the table. “I go through these three times faster when we work closely”

“Ah, remind me to add frequency of medication to the HR files” Kate smiled and glanced up from behind her fringe. “So we kissed” she stated it as a fact.

“Yes ma’am” Osgood grinned even more broadly as Kate scowled. 

“And?” Kate knew there was more to it, if a simple kiss had resolved her problem then there wouldn’t have been quite so many delicious aches this morning.

“And Vastra had advised that you would need to reach peak hormone levels before you’d fall asleep” Osgood was hoping her biologist boss would get the picture.

“Bloody hell, I didn’t force myself on you for more than a kiss?” Kate was genuinely worried that she’d assaulted her young friend and the implications for their future relationship were not good.

Osgood shook her head quickly and leaned across the table to rest her hand over Kate’s “You were pretty far gone and I was worried about your heart rate and rising temperature” she tried to reassure. “Essentially I kissed you and gave you some pretty clear instructions on how to resolve the situation yourself”

Kate couldn’t remember being this shocked about anything for a long time, even shape-shifting aliens pretending to be her hadn’t scrambled her brains quite this much. As she struggled to come up with a response a tiny part of her brain picked up on the Zygon incident and went off to figure out what was bothering her. In the meantime she’d finally managed to get her mouth working “You…..I mean I…….” she gulped.

“I’m truly sorry, I know how embarrassed you must be” Osgood carefully studied the worn tabletop and didn’t even realise she was still running her fingers gently over Kate’s knuckles.

Kate blew out a breath and shook her head “I’m sorry that I don’t remember our first kiss” she finally admitted and turned her hand over to catch Osgood’s fingers.

“It was a doozy” Osgood grinned and looked up at her. “I’d give you a 9 out of 10”

“9!” Kate looked indignant.

Osgood laughed and squeezed Kate’s hand. “I’d really prefer if you were completely in control of your senses if we ever kiss again” she smiled gently. “I’m sure you’d get 100% if I could be sure you weren’t being coerced”

Kate smiled and entwined their fingers, slowly stroking and marveling at how soft her assistant’s hands were. Several moments passed before her subconscious finally popped the memory she had been worrying about out of her mental toaster. “Zygons, shit!” she suddenly looked up to see Osgood looking mortified and felt her withdraw her hand.

Osgood stood and leaned against the back of her chair, the pain in her chest almost as bad as if Kate had actually punched her. “You said it never mattered,” she said quietly, staring resolutely at the table top and fighting the panic. 

“What?” Kate asked, confused by her reaction before she realised what had happened. “No, Osgood, that wasn’t what I meant” she strode around the table and grasped Osgood’s shoulders to turn her around, using her finger to gently lift her chin and make eye contact. “Of course it doesn’t matter, you saved the planet and you’ll always be my Osgood” 

The young woman swallowed down the feelings of panic and blinked to try to hide the tears she had almost let fall. “Really?”

Kate didn’t like how quiet she sounded and kicked herself for allowing this to happen. She wasn’t sure how to make things right again until a wicked thought sneaked up on her and she grinned briefly before leaning down and kissing Osgood gently. “Better?” she asked and cleared her throat to sound a little more like her normal self. 

“9.5” Osgood smiled shyly and pushed her glasses back up her nose. “Can we do that again?” she asked and leaned closer. After several seconds of some really top-notch kissing, she pulled back and opened her eyes. “So you’re not worried I’m the Zygon version of me?”

Kate shook her head “No, that wasn’t what I meant” she stole one more quick kiss before pulling out the chair next to Osgood’s and sitting down, gesturing for her to do the same. Resting her forearms on her thighs, she gently caressed Osgood’s hands in her own. “I just suddenly remembered something that I hadn’t ever told you before, about what happened that day in the Black Archive”

Osgood was still on cloud nine from the kisses and the soft strokes across her palms weren’t helping to focus her mind on anything other than the soft bed upstairs. “Mmmmm?” she murmured. 

Kate sighed, she hadn’t meant to keep this from her friend but it had just been part of a painful episode for all of them and she’d hidden it away in the depths of her mind until now. “Well that day, when the three Doctors broke into the black archive looking like the worst boy band ever” she smiled as Osgood sniggered, “They sonic’d the mind wipe device and thought that they’d saved us all from a nuclear bomb” she trailed off.

“Yes, I remember” Osgood reassured her and was surprised when Kate looked up at her sharply.

“Do you?” she asked in a strange tone of voice before continuing. “Anyway, the truth is that I wasn’t mind wiped but I realised that the Zygon version of me had been and it was the perfect opportunity to stop the countdown and start negotiations”

Osgood looked shocked. “But McGillop and his double were mind wiped” she reminded Kate.

“You weren’t” Kate pointed out and sat back, crossing her legs again. “Why was that?”

Osgood blinked several times before realising what Kate was saying. “I have no idea, I just assumed they had done something with the sonic screwdrivers to keep me aware but wipe the rest of you” she shrugged.

“Which means that either they did the same thing for both of us and your Zygon counterpart” Kate got to her point. “Or we’re both immune to the mind wipe in the black archive”

“Oh that’s not good” Osgood looked concerned but Kate could tell she still had a connection or two to make and waited for her to get to the same page. “That’s the same technology he uses in his mind wipe, isn’t it?” Osgood said quietly, having caught up.

Kate nodded. “I think so, that’s why we installed it at the Tower anyway”

Osgood took a deep breath. “So two ways this could go, either he can realign the technology in the Tardis and properly make us forget”

“Or we could choose to remember,” Kate said softly, stopping herself from reaching out to touch the younger woman until a decision had been made.

“Or we could choose to remember” Osgood agreed with a grin before adding “And get him to upgrade the Black Archive in case anyone else is immune”

“That’s my girl” Kate grinned and leaned in to continue where they’d left off.

Jenny smiled and quietly crept back upstairs to her bedroom. Snuggling in beside her wife she accepted the shoulder to rest on. “They seem to have figured themselves out” 

“Are you envious of Osgood?” Vastra asked quietly and then winced as a pinch was delivered to her side. “You kissed her!” she sounded aggrieved.

“Not like I kiss you” Jenny reminded her wife of exactly how much different it was for several minutes. “I’m in love with my wife but the pulse thingy didn’t make me blind or dead so you can’t really blame me for having one little kiss”

“From now on you cook with Osgood and Kate and I will work on the weapons” Vastra growled but she knew she had nothing to worry about.

The Doctor patted the viewscreen in the Tardis and looked around the console, suddenly lonely. “We’ll never persuade Osgood to come and play with us now” he sighed and the Tardis tolled her disappointment.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this one. This hasn't been beta read by anyone other than the pedantic grammar weasel who lives in my head so apologies for any mistakes.


End file.
